American Government……Leadership or Not?

In light of the recent shutdown in our United States government, I decided to take a look at our supposed leaders and examine the aspects of true leadership and see if those who are in charge of our governments functioning are actually true leaders, or just a group who are being followed.

There are many aspects of leadership that are accepted by most psychologists and business people, however here(for the sake of time and space)we will discuss those few that are accepted as the most important.

The first aspect (and perhaps the most important) is do the leaders create a Vision that others can believe in, rally around and become a part of? This nations founders had a powerful vision, not only something that people could believe in and become a part of…but something that they would have to rally around to grow as individual and groups. Does the American government currently have a Vision that the people can believe in? Obamacare? Tax Reform? Jobs? The Economy? It really doesn’t appear so. The latest government approval rating shows that around 5% of Americans approve of the job the United States Congress is doing. President Obama is doing somewhat better at about 44% approval(Galllup)……These number show little belief in the government and it’s Vision.

/

The next aspect of leadership is being able to set goals that are achievable, and creating a dynamic that allows the group(in this case the American people)to participate in achieving these goals. This principal of involvement allows others to offer their expertise and skills to making the goal possible, and this principal also creates the possibility for innovation and the establishment of new goals. This was one of the pillars that the United States of America was founded on, maximum utilization of expertise and participation. The marginalization of certain groups of people is causing harm to this nation, because we are not taking advantage of their expertise and skills, all because they are different or don’t have as much as others. Leadership is not occurring if only the leaders are participating.

/

The final aspect of leadership that we will discuss today(remember there are many others)is the ability to motivate others to motivate other to achieve the aforementioned goals, without motivation people will not participate in the needed tasks, or will participate, but not for very long(or willingly). Motivation goes hand-in-hand with having a Vision people can believe in, but as a leader you must maintain that believe and energy, otherwise it will lose it’s drive. There are many examples of our government offering it’s people motivation(whether intrinsic or extrinsic); Motivating the American People from an agrarian economy into the more aggressive industrial economy, The Roosevelt Administration motivating the American People out of The Depression and into World War II, and the increase in national infrastructure. However I see just self-motivation, and the motivation for survival amongst many of the American people, I see no connective motivation from our government.

/

According to these standard factors that dictate leadership, there is little to no amount of leadership currently coming from our nation’s capitol. Leadership tends to come directly from the American People, the people provide their own vision for their future which they interpret into survival and social goals.People provide their own motivation in America today.

//

‘The Breakfast Club’ Ends the MFF Summer Movie Series at Montclair State University

The Montclair Film Festival ended their Summer Movie Series with the showing of John Hughes 1985 classic ‘The Breakfast Club’. The arguably all-time best high school flick ever made, and on of Hughes most identifiable works.

This film strikes a chord with everyone who sees it, and tonight was no different. Pre-movie entertainment consisted of a collection of some of the best music from the 80s (Tom Petty, Pat Benatar, Modern English….), which got the crowd in the mood for one of the best, hard-hitting films ever to come out of the 80s. The crowd seemed excited for this film to begin, especially after the success of the rest of the summer series. It was a beautiful night or an outdoor film, even though I felt a few raindrops fall during the start of the movie at a little before 9:00, the weather immediately cleared as a perfect breeze moved in for the rest of the night.

Both young and old attended; this wasn’t just a student event. Those who remembered ‘The Breakfast Club’ from the 80s in the theaters attended, those who have been introduced to the classic on VHS and DVD, and those who had never seen this ‘must see’ film before. The crowd easily exceeded 250 individuals, and as with the previous outdoor showing of ‘Big’, this movie attracted passersby all night.

Everyone enjoyed hearing the multitude of classic lines from this film, such as; “So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social, Right?”, “Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?”

This film does a masterful job of bringing you back to your teen years, bringing up memories of the ‘cliques’ back in high school and how the we’re so different and yet so very much alike. ‘The Breakfast Club’ started out as five very different teenagers who for one reason or another ended up in detention, and quickly became a group who recognized the need for support and encouragement.

With the summer ending on a high note with the successful showing of ‘The Breakfast Club’, I look forward to future showings of more classic movies in and around the Montclair, New Jersey area.

Fun, Why We Should All Have Some Everyday

Fun – It’s a funny little word that a lot of people seem to think is not all that important to us as human beings, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Having fun does a lot for us as people on SO many levels….physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Physically, having fun is a great stress reliever, whether it’s just running around like a nut with a friend at the park or spending time at the movies, having fun REDUCES STRESS LEVELS, and stress can cause a plethora of serious medical issues:

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms
Cognitive Symptoms	Emotional Symptoms
Memory problems Inability to concentrate Poor judgment Seeing only the negative Anxious or racing thoughts Constant worrying	Moodiness Irritability or short temper Agitation, inability to relax Feeling overwhelmed Sense of loneliness and isolation Depression or general unhappiness
Physical Symptoms	Behavioral Symptoms
Aches and pains Diarrhea or constipation Nausea, dizziness Chest pain, rapid heartbeat Loss of sex drive Frequent colds	Eating more or less Sleeping too much or too little Isolating yourself from others Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

And, you may not even realize that you are displaying some of these symptoms until it is too late. If you are showing or think you are displaying any of these symptoms, you should get out with someone and have some fun!

Understanding Stress Symptoms

Emotionally, we are all social animals and we need to be around others(whether we think so or not). Having fun engages us with others, allows us to display parts of ourselves that we keep cooped up inside when we’re at work. This engagement allows us to bleed off emotional stress(even more insidious than physical stress, we often don’t realize this is effecting us). Whether you are at a party or just sitting in a diner talking with a good friend, this is a critical part of who we are, social engagement.

Signs of Stress

Signs of stress include:

• Apathy, lack of energy
• Difficulty making decisions
• Difficulty “keeping track” of things
• Feeling on edge
• A change in eating habits
• Sleeping more than usual or difficulty getting to sleep
• Being more emotional
• Using alcohol or drugs to relieve or forget stress

Symptoms of stress

Symptoms of stress include:

• Chronic back pain
• Tension headaches
• Neck pain
• Gastrointestinal problems (pain, diarrhea)
• Palpitations

Emotional Well Being

Spinoza once said;

“Mind and body are one and the same individual which is conceived now under the attribute of thought, and now under the attribute of extension”.

And from a psychological viewpoint the first portion of that statement fits with my point, when your body is having fun it engages the mind, releases restrained energies, releases beneficial endorphins, reduces anxiety and fear, and it improves your view of who you are and what you are capable of doing.

       Mental Health Benefits:

• Adds joy and zest to life
• Eases anxiety and fear
• Relieves stress
• Improves mood
• Enhances resilience

Laughter is The Best Medicine

So, dare you ask what kind of fun should you be having……doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter if you are going to a party or just spending the night out with one friend. Of course you shouldn’t have TOO much fun, you should be able to balance fun with responsibility. It can be fun sometimes to spend time alone, but spending to much time alone having fun does not provide the social engagement that we all need, so spend time with people outside of work.

Work can be fun, work may be fun, but you should always have a life outside of work and it should be fun, whether it is spent with a; husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, friends, kids, or family….work is work, fun is fun.
GO OUT AND HAVE SOME TODAY!!!!!!!!

Emotional Well Being. (n.d.). Retrieved from Cleveland Clinic: http://my.clevelandclinic.org/healthy_living/stress_management/hic_warning_signs_of_emotional_stress_when_to_see_your_doctor.aspx

Kemp, G., Smith, M., & Segal, J. (2012, June). Laughter Is The Best Medicine. Retrieved from Help Guide: http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

Smtih, M., Segal, R., & Segal, J. (2012, July). Understanding Stress Symptoms. Retrieved from Help Guide: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm

Dr. Jekyll & Mr Hyde, A Reflection of Our Own Inner Monsters

In 1886, Robert Louis Stevenson penned the often misunderstood story of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This is often thought of as a story of Good vs Evil, but if you examine the story more closely one will discover that Dr. Jekyll was not only pursuing the ‘Evil’ side of himself, but the many selves that lie beneath.

We all have our own inner primitive self that we keep under tight control just beneath the surface, the raging beast that gives us strength and drive, the ability to ‘defend ourselves’, we all need this creature of violence otherwise we would not be who we are. We all become angry at one time or another, we all have a selfish side to ourselves(fortunately, most of us can control this aspect)the part of us who is possessive, vain,  controlling…..these are perceived as negative aspects, but they are all part of our whole self.

So, why is this horrible beast so critically important to our well-being? Why is it that we can’t live without the monster inside each of us? A good example is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need’s, an accepted collection of need’s for human psychological actualization. Physiological Needs: This requires the base instincts that we obtain from the predator inside all of us, the hunter that allows us to seek out food, drink(shopping), sex, and allows us to find the resources for sleep, without the creature none of these skills would be present, our survival instinct belongs to the beast. Safety Needs: These needs require the strength and protective instincts that the monster affords us all, our pursuit of security, employment, law & health are actually consistent with this. Psychological Needs: As we climb Maslow’s Hierarchy we see the emergence of the human intellect, compassion, control, in other word’s the ‘Jekyll’ to the ‘Hyde’ that we have been discussing. In obtaining the Psychological Needs(Family, Affection, Relationships, A Work Group)we must control the beast, and use the powers of judgement that come with our advanced intellect. Esteem Needs: Most would think that we had taken the final step away from the beast, but remember that the beast is proud and vain, both necessary aspects of self-esteem. Self-Actualization: Now that we have reached the pinnacle of Maslow’s Hierarchy, we find the emergence of our personal Dr Jekyll, the creativity, morality, problem-solving, acceptance……but what gives us this drive to achieve these aspects, what gives us the energy and strength to reach this point…..the beast.

There are those in our society who have for one reason or another given into the monster inside, given into the baser predatory instincts. These are societies criminals, individual who have created their own form of self-actualization, sociopaths. When control is removed from the beast this is the result. But worry not, those who have left societies norms have been found to have some form of moral or psychological defect….these are the few, most of us have learned to integrate our own personal Mr Hyde with our Dr Jekyll into healthy productive lives.

Robert Louis Stevenson, a Scottish novelist, poet, essayist & travel writer, was well ahead of his time in his understanding of the human condition, or was he just spinning an entertaining tale about a man who tried to achieve more than he should?

Boeree, D. C. (2006). Abraham Maslow. Retrieved from http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/maslow.html

Profile of the Sociopath. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Robert Louis Stevenson. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.robert-louis-stevenson.org/

Stevenson, R. L. (1886). The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde.

Why Does My Cat Own All My Stuff????

Haven’t you ever wondered why your cat seems to consider everything in your house(and everything around your house)as belonging to him or her?  Why cats do what they want, when they want? Probably because they are awfully adorable when they are doing it…..but I digress. So, why do cats think that everything belongs to them? We may never REALLY now why cats are so possessive, but we can guess.

Even the cutest, most adorable cat in the world is a predator, under all of that soft fur is a hunter, an animal that is capable of invoking untold amounts of terror in it’s prey. Cats can become very possessive, of people, of  toys, of their food(did you ever try to take food away from a cat….not recommended). This is when cats are isolated, and do not experience the companionship of other pets or people. When cats are exposed to new experiences, and animals they become very communal creatures(they may be a bit standoffish at first, and may ‘tests the waters’), eventually younger cats can become lifelong friends with anyone.

So, eventhough you cat may never give you up and may think  that you belong to him or her, cats are flexible and will allow others into your life and theirs. Older cats(like people)are more set in their ways and may not be open to other people or animals messing with their stuff(or you).

Why are cats so possessive? It’s that primitive brain, that part that tells the cat “If I give you my stuff, what will I have when I need it?”, we all have that as a part of who we are, but it is our intelligence that allows us to share our space with others, to understand that others may need our “stuff” but that  they may be willing to share their stuff with us when we need some. Cats(like other higher animals)are very much like people, sometimes standoffish at first(depending on the vibe they get) when dealing with new situations, but then they open up to the experience(very often completely).

So, when you look at a cat, don’t see an aloof, snobbish animal who wants nothing to do with you accept to take all of your stuff…..see a loving creature who may just be misunderstood, and who may come to love you more than you love it.

Vampires….not what you think.

Vampires, the ancient evil that plagued medieval Europe’s perceptions of the night, the immortal terror that would supposedly stalk the people of that time by cover of darkness, those beings who would exsanguinate people for sustenance. But there are people among us today who exhibit all of the aspects of the Vampire.

There are two different distinct definitions of the term Vampire according to Webster’s Dictionary,

Vam-pire, noun                                                                                                                                                                              

1 : the reanimated body of a dead person believed to come from the grave at night and suck the blood  of persons asleep

2 a : one who lives by preying on others

   b : a woman who exploits and ruins her lover

____________________

The most telling of these two definitions is the second, “One who lives by preying on others”.

Odds are that you know one of these emotional vampires, these are the people who can suck the fun out of any situation, those who drain your energy without offering anything in return. These can be the interfering mother-in-law, the overbearing boss, “The Victim”(the most deceptive of all the emotional vampires), those who must control every situation, those who constantly talk and never allow you to be part of the conversation, and the Drama Queen. These are often referred to as narcissists, depending on the level to which they take their behavior.

There are tried and true method of combating these individuals ‘energy-sucking’ abilities, and it doesn’t involve using a cross, holy water or a wooden stake. The way to handle these ’emotional vampires’ is with self-confidence, tenacity, and a self-optimistic viewpoint. The general method for handling these people is to ignore them, but these ’emotional vampires’ will often not recognize their behavior…..so, you often will have to stand up for yourself and assert your own personality.

.

So, remember…..that when you refer to the ‘vampire’, you are referring to a creature that is a metaphor for some of our darkest, most socially disruptive psychological dysfunctions, narcissism, obsession, and sociopathology.

___________

References

Emotional Freedom, Judith Orloff, MD

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201101/whos-the-emotional-vampire-in-your-life

———–

Webster’s Dictionary

Vampire

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vampire

———–

Psychology Today

Narcissim

http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/narcissism

Mental Pools

We all play in our own individual pools of thought and perception, these are unique to each of us(as unique as our own fingerprints). These ‘pools’ of thought often dictate how we approach the world and other individuals, how we view ourselves and how we deal with problems and issues that may arise…..these pools are always expanding as we learn and grow as individuals, as we experience new events, our pools may even overflow into the pools of others.

In order to understand where other people are ‘coming from’, we often will have to ‘play in other people’s pools’, getting inside another persons head, sharing in another person’s experiences. Through sharing we can often open up rivulets between individual pools of thought and perception, which allows us to expand ourselves, our nature, and our concept of existence.

The introduction of trauma, damaging emotions, or thought patterns have often caused a ‘ripple effect’ in many pools of thought, creating feelings of guilt, depression, and inadequacy. These thoughts and perceptions effect everyone connected with that individual in a multitude of ways….so, be careful before you ‘pee in someone else’s pool'(you never know what the effect might be).

Fortunately, this works both ways…..as trauma and damaging emotions have a ‘ripple effect’ in one’s pool of thought, so do positive emotions, these often have an effect on everyone(assuming that their ‘pool’ hasn’t been mired by too many depressing, negative emotions).

So, although we have these pools of thought and perception that we all have that often dictate how we will view the world and others, it is important that we engage in relationships with others, that we experience new things when we can, that we do what we can to make ourselves better people. In other words, when the opportunity presents itself, go ahead and jump in the ocean.

Happy New Year……or Is It?

December 21, 2012 is the predicted end time by the Mayan calendar, it is actually the time of the upcoming ‘Galactic Alignment’. The Galactic Alignment occurs once every 26,000 years, which this year is the end of the Mayan Long Count Calender.

The Galactic Alignment is the alignment of the December solstice sun with the Galactic equator. This alignment occurs as a result of the precession of the equinoxes.

Precession is caused by the earth wobbling very slowly on its axis and shifts the position of the equinoxes and solstices one degree every 71.5 years. Because the sun is one-half of a degree wide, it will take the December solstice sun 36 years to process through the Galactic equator.

The precise alignment of the solstice point (the precise center-point of the body of the sun as viewed from earth) with the Galactic equator was calculated to occur in 1998 (Jean Meeus, Mathematical Astronomy Morsels, 1997).

A great many people seem to be fearing this upcoming occurrence, calling it the Apocalypse as predicted by John of Patmos in the Book of Revelation. What many do not realize is that the literal translation of the term ‘Apocalypse’ is “Lifting of The Veil” or “Revelation”. If John is accurate, and this is the Apocalypse that he spoke of, then we may just be shown something that is of great importance….Apocalypse does not necessarily mean the end of the world.

So, have a Happy New Year, and don’t worry about it.

What Is The Galactic Alignment – John Major Jenkins

 

 

Why Kisses Are Like Potato Chips

Why Kisses Are Like Potato Chips……..

You Never Want To Stop At Just One.

Ever wonder why when your kissing someone you’re attracted to you don’t want to stop? It’s kind of like potato chips; you never want to stop at just one. Some would call that passion; others in the scientific community would call that bio-chemistry mixed with a good dose of old fashioned psychology. Let’s take a look at this, and perhaps propose a little experiment.

Now, as you may know we are all really just bio-electrical engines composed of bio-chemical components…..when you break us down, that’s really all we are, even our emotions are a component of our production of hormones. When you kiss someone, your body release a hormone call Oxytocin into your brains environment (DeAngelis, 2008), some call this the ‘Love Hormone’, but certain scientists have discovered that this is the hormone that creates a feeling of ‘trust’ in a person, that warm, safe feeling when your around someone you love or trust. Of course feeling trust for someone is a good feeling, it makes us feel warm and happy inside….and our bodies naturally crave these happy, warm feelings….and we always want more of them.

Now here comes the experiment proposal I promised you;

We will use 10 people (5 men and 5 women) as our experimental group, 10 people who we are sure have NEVER met each other.

We will use 10 people (5 couples) as our control group, 10 people who we are sure know each other and have stated that are attracted to each other.

The purpose of this experiment is to determine if the act of kissing someone ACTUALLY causes you to want to continue kissing them or if it is the act of kissing someone you are attracted to that causes you to want to continue kissing them.

Methodology:

The methodology behind this experiment is simple, first we would have 5 pairs(1 man, 1 woman)from the control group enter a plain bare room containing two plain wooden chairs(without meeting each other first), ask them to kiss once, for 5 seconds. After each couple finish’s kissing, they will be asked to enter separate rooms and be requested to rate their desire to continue kissing their control partner on a scale from 1 to 9, and how much they trusted this individual.

Second we would have 5 couples (1 man, 1 woman) from the experimental group enter a plain bare room containing two plain wooden chairs (these are individuals who are knowingly attracted to each other), ask them to kiss once, for 5 seconds. After each couple finish’s kissing, they will be asked to enter separate rooms and be requested to rate their desire to continue kissing their control partner on a scale from 1 to 9, and how much they trust this individual.

After both groups finished rating how much they wanted to continue kissing the other person, we would have the same 5 control couples (1 man, 1 woman) enter the same separate rooms as before and then repeat the experiment be requested to rate their desire to continue kissing each other and level of trust in their control partner on a scale from 1 to 9.

Discussion:

It would be interesting to see if the control group (those couples who have never met each other) actually have more of a desire to kiss each other the second time they are alone, rather than the first time when they first meet. Of course there will be certain people who are repressed and uncomfortable kissing someone they don’t already know very well, and I would hope that such people would choose not to participate in an experiment such as this. I would imagine that the control(attracted)group would have little to no reduction to their level of trust in each other or their desire to continue kissing each other. I would also imagine that if the experimental group didn’t kiss more than once, that they would report an increased desire to continue kissing and an increase in level of trust.

So, on to answering our original question…..why is kissing like potato chips, why can’t we stop at just one? It all comes down to addiction. Our bodies become naturally addicted to fat;

…the discovery that we have specific oral sensory receptors that allow us to sense the ‘fattiness’ of food – a function that makes a lot of sense, given that dietary fat provides the densest source of caloric intake. (Sharma, 2011)

Now, Nicholas DiPatrizio and colleagues from the University of California, Irvine, have discovered that these oral dietary fat sensors activate a powerful ‘addiction-type’ mechanism in your gut that serves to promote further fat intake – their study is published in a recent issue of the Proceedings of the US National Academy of Science. (Sharma, 2011)

If that is true, then the reason why kissing is like potato chips is obvious, we as human beings are attracted too anything that feels good, anything that feels safe(for many of us it becomes almost an addiction)…..and if the presence of oxytocin while we are kissing someone causes us to feel good, safe and happy (Fiore, 2006), we are going to want to continue doing what causes those feelings.

I would be interested if anyone has heard of any more research on this subject, please leave a comment.

References

DeAngelis, T. (2008, February). The Two faces of Oxytocin. Retrieved from American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/oxytocin.aspx

Fiore, K. (2006, October 2). Why Do Humans Kiss? Retrieved from ScienceLine: http://scienceline.org/2006/10/ask-fiore-kiss/

Sharma, A. M. (2011, July 19). How Your Gut Feeds Your Fat Addiction. Retrieved 12 27, 2011, from Arya M. Sharma, MD: http://www.drsharma.ca/obesity-how-your-gut-feeds-fat-addiction.html

Poor Tom Sawyer

Poor Tom Sawyer

Poor Tom, he was a Working Man who was never In The Mood for fun. Always in a Rush, he would tell people “I’m Finding My Way” when they would ask “What You’re Doing“? Being a salesman of sorts , Tom would always Fly By Night so that he could get a jump on the competition and make that successful final sale In The End (or at least be able to say “I’m doing The Best I Can”).

Tom was always trying to get Something for Nothing on his trips abroad, but on this trip things would be different. His plane landed at 21:12 (that’s 9:12 pm to you and me) after a long Passage to Bangkok. He wasn’t aware of his Circumstances at first, but he knew this was all a Prelude to something odd. Running his fingers through the Permanent Waves in his hair, and remembering that he was here by his own Freewill, Tom stepped forward into the Limelight and faced The Camera Eye.

Tom was now a Digital Man (some thought of him as a Cinderella Man), famous…leaving his sales job behind, living in those Subdivisions…this was the Countdown for his new career! Donning his Red Lenses, he was ready to put those Grand Designs into motion (all that Tom could think of was The Big Money that would come rolling in.) Eventually fame became Second Nature to Tom…as he became a Prime Mover in the entertainment industry, he only had Open Secrets, nothing could be kept under Lock and Key. Presto! Like magic Tom’s name began to spread across the nation like Chain Lightning, and the money came in Hand Over Fist.

After several years, Tom began to question his fame, asking himself “Where’s My Thing?“…eventually not giving himself a Ghost of a Chance of continuing at the pace he had set for himself. Tom was Nobody’s Hero, that was for sure, he had to Stick It Out for no one. He could now be Driven to get back to who he truly was, he would travel Half The World to get back home…and through Time and Motion things became clear…Out of the Cradle Tom was destined to push himself, One Little Victory after another he always had that Secret Touch of calling Unlimited resources and making things happen. But now was the time to stop, he was a Far Cry from The Main Monkey Business he started in Bangkok, his Hope would now rest in what he could build at home.

I guess the story will continue when RUSH puts out another album.

Thank you Geddy, Alex, and Neil for all of this enjoyable music!